A Battle Lost

Have you ever come across people in your life that have to use hatred, rudeness, cruelty and many other "nasty" forms of expression to over come the pain they have endured throughout their life?

Well, I have lately. I even sunk to their level once and threw the nasty back to them but NO MORE. I felt worse from intentional trying to hurt them than I did from stomaching their harsh words. Now, I am the first to stand up and admit my faults. I know I can be extremely unbearable at times but I NEVER set out to deliberately hurt anyone.

I think the worse thing about people of this nature is I just want to embrace them and remind them that there are great doors that can be opened and true happiness does lie behind them. But somehow the closer you try to get, the nastier they become.

So, today I wave my white flag to all you nasty people who have displaced your pain. Please know that you are doing no one, not even yourself, justice.

A Single SuperStar!

That's right folks, I am a single SUPERSTAR! I somehow made it to the famous iListPaducah.com page again as the iDate of the week. How fun is this?

You know what though, I feel like I have really conquered the single world in my life. Really! TASK accomplished! But somehow my grade got changed to an F and I am having to repeat it again. So with the help of Match.com and now, iListPaducah.com, I am bound to find my soul mate #dos!

Yeah right, I have this feeling I will be repeating this grade aka status, many times and mainly due to me being picky, but he's out there. I just know it. Until then, cheers to me for my Super Stardom in the Single World!

Operation Get Kids Healthy

Okay, so every Wednesday the kids go to gymnastics for an hour. This past week I noticed Stetson huffing and puffing after 15mins of playing hard. I couldn't believe that I let him get to this point of being so out of shape at the age of 5. I haven't been the healthiest person in my life but over the past 8 months I have really changed. Now it is time for me to step up to the plate and help change my kids but mainly my son. I refuse to bury my son because he passed of heart disease so this is my full-time mission! This isn't a "I hope to succeed" mission, this is a " I HAVE TO succeed" mission!

2920 Days

Although I didn't get to sleep through February, I did however survive it. Today is March and I have 365 days until I have to do it all over again. March 1st just might be my favorite day of the year. For some reason, this year has been harder than last year. I pondered on why this could be, and I am thinking my life should be more "together" by now and you know what, it is so far from it. Had you of asked me 4 years ago where I thought my life would be by now, I would have said, stable and secure with a job, kids and hopefully a new love. So far, I have accomplished the mere task of making sure my kids are well, and that in fact has been hard by itself. As for the other two, I am unemployed and unloved by a special someone. So I wonder, is it going to take me 3 times longer to accomplish these goals? Lord, I hope not. If so, I can expect to be employed, loved and well kids in 2920 days. That within itself can make me depressed and knowing that I will be 39 before this happens, well, I think I might just go back to bed now. Goodnight...ugh...