Monday, April 13, 2009

Back to the Past: BLOG 4

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Time for a blog
Category: Life

Ok, so Sept 3rd I hit the 7mth mark. It sounds like an accomplishment but really I had no choice...I can't control time. But things are going ok. I have been active with friends and family. But you run into test along the way in this "grieving process". One of which I have to get through next weekend. A friend of mine is getting married in the church that Jim and I married and the two songs that were sung at our wedding, she is also having sung at her wedding. I can do this...I can go and not cry. I hate not being able to control my tears at times. But I can do this...right?

I have been doing better. I have reach a "turning" point (at least that is what I think it is) of knowing that my life will be good again. I think I found faith in believing that I can be loved again by someone and that there is someone who is willing to love my kids has his own. Not that I am looking for someone...I just need to start believing. I need to know that my life is not a total lost cause. But I do thank God everyday for those two beautiful children...what would I have done without them. My heart is filled with joy everytime I hear them laugh. It is as if Jim is laughing. I loved his laugh.

So, 7 months of this lifetime "process". You never know how many day to day things you do remind you so much of someone. Like the other day I was craving chilli but didn't think i had the seasoning but you know what....Jim bought some the weekend before he died. (thanks Jim...chilli was good, no beans of course, but you did make it better) Some how it is as if he will always take care of me...even years to come.

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